Dying to self and Meeting with the Pastor


There are two topics on my mind this morning, as you can see from the title 🙂

To die to self….this is another concept that I have heard time and time again, yet this morning it really seems to be clear. I see it more clearly then I have previously anyway.

2 Corinthians 4:11 says For we who live are always given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may manifest in our mortal flesh.

Huh, so I need to die to self in order for Jesus to manifest in those places. I mean, I know I need Jesus in this mortal flesh. I am always pleading with Him to work through me, speak through me, walk in me. But am I dying to self before asking Him to do so? God cannot be at work in an anxious heart.This heart my friends, is often anxious. I often find myself clenched up tightly in the anxieties of this world. I may still be calling out to Jesus, but I am not letting go before doing so. How can He work under those conditions? He doesn’t. At least not to the full capacity that He could be, if I would only let Him.

Do you see a reoccurring theme here? I do.

Let Jesus in!

Really a simple yet so deeply profound concept. It is sinking through the layers to my heart. The love of God and all that He wants to do in this life are the things that I should allow to have a grip on this heart, not all the worldly fears and anxieties.

Funny that I am often told that I am a calming presence, funny because I am a naturally anxious person. The calming presence comes when I am allowing our God to do His work in me rather than allowing myself to be sucked into all the filthy fleshy things that drag me down and distract me from the true meaning of life. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ (Mark 12:30)

Now, as for the meeting with the Pastor portion. I find it funny that it can be so hard to do so at times! First, let me start by telling you that my Pastor is a really cool guy, down to earth and does not judge at all. Yet it can be intimidating to sit in front of him to discuss my struggles and to ask for advice.

Perhaps it is an authority thing? Maybe its this deep seeded fear that one day I will bring up an issue that will cause him to tell me that I have done it, I am just too far gone for Jesus? I know this is silly! This man sits in front of us all, at least twice a week, and tells us that we will never earn God’s grace, love and compassion. We cannot do anything to make Him love us any more or any less. God’s love is always there and always the same. He does not fluctuate in His promises. Only we do.

This is a fear I have had and continue to have with others I speak to. That part of me that holds her breath waiting for the other person to gasp in shock at something I have said or done. Waiting for that person to turn away from me because I am not worthy?

But isn’t that the point? We are not worthy! We are all stuck in the messiness of it all. Not one of us is perfect and the more we share that with each other, the easier it will be for us all. So I urge you to bite the bullet and meet with whoever it is that you feel comfortable talking to, and then with a person that you are not so comfortable talking to! I promise it will be rewarding.

Every time I feel that I need to meet with my Pastor, I can give myself a thousand reasons not to. He is too busy, I don’t need to talk to him, I can talk to someone else, etc. Now I am at a point that I am seeing that when I feel the need to talk to a particular person about a particular topic, it is for a reason. Once I am done playing the games with myself and step out of my flesh and into fellowship, I always, always, always come out feeling so much better!

So, i end this encouraging you to die to your flesh and allow Jesus to shine through those ugly places. Take a step out of your comfort zone and share whenever and with whoever you have a chance to. The harder the task, the better the rewards.

In His Love.


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