I love and I love deeply, but do I really know what it means to love?
I know what it means to sacrifice for my husband and my children. I know that I would give my life to save one of theirs. There is not a doubt in my mind about that. I am devoted to my husband and my children in ways that words cannot even begin to describe. Yet, I also know that as strong as my feelings of love and protection are, they pale in comparison to the love that God has for us.
I think this can be a really hard concept to grasp, it is for me. God loves me. God loves me? Me? Really? The defiant, short-tempered, ever wandering…me. The woman who falters and loses faith at times? The daughter that rebels…..daughter, I am His daughter, of course He loves me through all this.
As I ponder God’s love and how hard it is for me to wrap my mind around it, I begin to think back to the love I have for family. They are not perfect and they bring me grief quite often. This does not diminish my love for them. I accept them all the way through, imperfections and all. My children rebel often and I still accept them and love them through it. So why is it so hard for me to accept God’s love?
I have come to realize that my doubt in God’s love is more so a reflection of my own self-love. I am my own worst critic. No one can bring me down like I can. I am always comparing myself to others and measuring myself up to my high expectations. I am not very forgiving of myself. So how can I accept that God forgives and loves me unconditionally??
Well, because God tells us that He does.
Romans 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Of course God loves me! Why else would He send Jesus here to save us? While we were still sinners at that! Boggles my mind really. HE LOVED US FIRST. Amazing! Despite all my failures and because I am unworthy, this is why He loves me. This is why I need Jesus. I need God’s love. I need His forgiveness, I need His light to shine on my life. I need Him to cleanse my filthy soul. I need to stop trying to measure up, I never will. If God doesn’t expect me to be perfect, then I need to stop expecting it from myself too. I want to learn to rest in His love. Still l strive to be what He wants me to be but to stop relying on my own strength to do so. Know that God is there for me always. His love is unearned and eternal. If only I could love others the way He loves me.
Sure, I would do anything for those I love and I love them despite all the unpleasant stuff, but I could never love the way God loves. He is unwavering and constant. He is patient and kind, gentle and uplifting. God is great and I don’t deserve the love He pours out, but I am so grateful that He does!
Rest in His love today.