I have mentioned being in a weird place before and have not been able to put my finger on it. God has been amazing in my life these past few years and I think I am in a place of awe. Sometimes I think maybe I have become stagnant in my walk but God immediately shows me that this is not the case. Other times I start to feel unworthy and like I am failing in my growth and the God reminds me that the enemy will feed me lies when I am in such a place.
Maybe just learning to finally rest in God and His love for me? Looking at where I came from as a child and a teen to the woman God has molded me to be today. Realizing how amazing it is when you give control over to Him and allow Him to do the work in you that He wants to do….it’s all great.
Professionally I am finally in a position that suits me prefectly. I always question if I still want to be in hospice and then I realize just what an amazing job this is and to be working for a company that has the patient’s and employee’s best interest at heart is truly rewarding. The 6 years I have been in this field have geared up to this and I absolutely love it, despite just how crazy and overwhelming it can be. My company rocks and I am surrounded by people who have been in hospice for sometime and want to work together to keep the core hospice ideals in place always.
My marriage is great, never been more comfortable and it is absolutely amazing to see the work God has been doing in each of us individually as well as in us as a couple. We will always butt heads and struggle with things because we are human and have a million kids, but over all I can’t complain. No one can embarrass me or get me angry like he can, but he is the most loving, thoughtful, kind person once you get past all that and I am honored to be his wife! (i know, gag :-p)
Kids are awesome, I like sitting back and watching them. The girls are so helpful and really pitch in with the household and family responsibilities. They are far from perfect but they really are amazing kids. One of my daughters was cooking while finishing her homework last night because she really wanted to! (how could I say no to that??) MY younger daughter had a melt down but bounced back, talked to me about it and cleaned her room, played with hr little brother and helped with laundry. All my girls bicker all the time but they also do sweet things for each other like make the other breakfast while she is still getting dressed. I have made it a point to build them up in those things so that I am not the mom that is always telling them what they need to correct. They are hitting puberty and that is definitely showing but I find that I am not dreading the teen years as much. It’s a part of life and a season they are entering in to. I just pray that they will continue to make good decisions and stay open with me about their challenges. Life is short and I don’t want to spend it complaining about the beautiful things that can be difficult.
I am enjoying blogging again and think I may have found the type of blog that is best suited for me, for now any way :-p Periodically I wonder if anyone really reads it or is benefitting from my ramblings at all and this is when someone will come up to me nd thank me for writing, so I continue to do so.
I have been battling with Reiki and how I feel about it spiritually and it has been utilized quite a bit in this position which is what I have wanted for some time. After a lot of prayer, a lot of research and a lot of discussing it I think I am in a place of accepting it and using it for God’s glory.
I am in a place where I am digging deeper into the world around me yet am feeling that disconnect as we are to be in the world but not of it, it’s an interesting transition and I am excited to see where we go from here!
I love you all and thank God each and every day for the people I come across in this life.
Smoothing out the rough edges 