Your Vision

Lord, I pray that You open my eyes so that I may truly see. I know that my vision is blurred by my own selfishness and self-centeredness. I try so hard to broaden my perspective, but I am still only seeing from a human perspective. Show my how You see me. Show me how You see the world, even if only a glimmer.

I try to imagine how You look upon this world with great sadness. This beautiful creation being destroyed by those you long to have a relationship with. Your people turning away from You and causing such pain while claiming that it is in Your name. I wonder how You can look upon such defiance and darkness in this world and love us all anyway.

I want to walk this land with Your eyes and Your heart. I pray that You break my stone heart and replace it with a heart of flesh. I pray that You lift the veil that blinds me to the eternal and let me see You in all things.

You are the only thing in me that is good.

I am sorry for the error of my ways. I am sorry for my moments of weakness and deceit. I truly am and I know that You can see that in my heart. I know You hear my cries, both spoken and silent.

Thank You for not giving up on us. I know that we have deserved it for centuries. Thank You for allowing me to walk upon this earth with my free will to choose You. Thank You for the people You have given to walk by my side in all this. I thank You for entrusting me with all that You have, despite my ignorance at times.

You are good and I will never forget that. You are mighty and I will never say otherwise. You are the way, the truth and the light. I will always walk in You my Lord.

Clear my vision, soften my heart, cleanse my thoughts and feed my soul. Let me see You always and in all things. Show me Your plan for this life You have so graciously given. Guide my steps and hold me close to You.

I alone can accomplish nothing, but all things are possible through You. You are my strength and my refuge. Thank You Jesus.

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Your face

When I left go of the worldly distractions, I can almost see Your face. I know You are always close by, I just need to slow down long enough to see and feel You.

When I open my heart in praise and worship I can feel Your face right before mine and it brings such joy. I want to stay there.

Family, work, daily living demands that I focus on them but I remember to stop and feel Your beautiful gaze upon me.

You are loving, You are ever near, I need not wonder where You are. If I can’t feel You, then it’s time to wonder where I am. Am I wrapped up in self and sin? Am I distracted by stressors out of my control? Am I battling the lies of inadequacy and defeat that are whispered in my ear? Only I can get in the way of You.

Tear down the walls I build all around me. Break my heart open and let me feel. This world around us is broken and there is pain all around. Let me be Your light in the midst of the dark. Let me bring peace to those You bring into my life, even if only for a brief moment. Let others see Your face when they see me.

Thank You for your kind heart, Your mercy, Your renewal. The words, thank You, can’t even touch the depth of my thanks. Help me to stay focused, to be still, to wait for Your prompting and Your will to be shown. When I fall in line with Your plan I get to experience miracles.

When I am broken, tired and lost, I will turn to You. I will rest in Your mighty arms and stop trying to fight. There are moments when I just need to stop, rest and give You the space to work. Help me to remember this in those moments.
I pray these things in the precious name of Jesus.

A prayer for my sisters

I just wanted to take a moment to tell you all just how amazing you all are.

I know that I can get wrapped up in feeling inadequate and beat up, a lot.

You are beautiful, you are purposely made, this world is only temporary and we serve a higher calling. It’s hard, it’s messy and it can feel like we’re spinning in place at times. The ideas of giving up, running away or hiding in a dark corner can all seem quite attractive.

You are not alone. God loves you, I love you. I  thankful for each of you and couldn’t imagine walking this walk without you.

Be kind to yourself, be patient, rest in Jesus when you feel like you can’t possibly go on. Sometimes we need to just be still and let the busy world fade. We are powerful in Christ.

Our roles are really hard at times, we coordinate, cook, clean, love, carry, teach, give and give and give. Allow the Holy Spirit to give to you.

We are exactly where we are meant to be. There are no accidents in God’s plan.

I pray you all have a day blessed beyond belief. I pray that we all trust and rest in our Lord in all things. I pray that we bring our stress, doubts and pains before Him and let Him work in those places. I pray that you are all lifted up by these words. I pray for healing, peace and strength for you all. In the precious name of Jesus I pray these things. Amen.

My prayer for today

Lord, I want to see You, feel You and hear You in my heart. Each day I long to know You more. No one truly knows me like You do and yet You seem to be the one I try to hide from at my lowest times. It’s as if I am ashamed of my lowest moments and yet you are right there with me. You not only hear me, You know the word of my heart long before they are known to me. This I can rest in.

You are almighty, You are our Creator, You are all together good, You are full of love, grace and mercy.

I am Yours. You created me. You knew me before I took my first breath in this world. You lay my path before me and I struggle to see it so many times. You know that too.

You have held me close in my darkest moments, even when I thought myself a full blown enemy of Yours.

Why?

Why do You love me so much when I often think myself unlovable? Why do You bring such beauty and such blessings to me when I know I don’t deserve them? How can You look upon this soul with loving kindness? How can You forget all that I have done?

I am Yours. I am a child of the Almighty God and I can find my strength in that. I pray that I can see myself the way that You see me. I want to forgive myself as You have forgiven me. I want to see the beauty that is possible as You do. I want to walk in Your footsteps in all things. I want to be content with where I am, knowing that You have a much bigger plan than I can even begin to imagine.

I rest in You Lord. I love in You. You are all that matters. You are my peace and that is all that matters. Let the world melt away, let my uncertainties melt away. Let the stress fade away into the background as I gaze upon Your beauty. Fill me with Your mighty Spirit, guard me against the attacks on my enemy and build me up as I stumble.

My words fall short of the craving in my soul, but I know that You know my desires better than I. Mt heart cries out to You and I pray that You hear me as I lay it all down before Your throne.

Thank You for being the merciful God that You are. Thank You for never leaving me. Thank You for all the beauty, blessings and family that You have so freely given me. Thank You for saving me, thank You for loving me and thank You for all the work You are continuing to do in this life. You are amazing and I would be lost without You.

I pray these things in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.

Why should I share?

These past few months have been flying by! Work, family, fun, lots of fun. Often I have found myself contemplating various ideas and thinking that I should come on here to share with all of you, and then I talk myself out of it. I begin to think that maybe it’s not important to share that particular idea.

Today I am on here to remind myself and all of you that we need to share. Sharing our struggles, triumphs and questions helps us all grow. I love to be reminded that I am not alone in my wanderings. To let all of you know that you are not alone has always been my wish.

To be open and honest with our imperfections. To allow ourselves to be vulnerable with each other. To accept and love each other in the midst of it all. These are my hopes for us.

I don’t want to get on here to vent and bash my life. I want to embrace this life, dig deep and grow. I want to share my wrongs and how God has healed this wounded soul. I want to take ownership and I want you all to be here with me in it. I want to hear from all of you and learn from your experiences. I want my perspective to continue to grow. I want us all to be open, honest and true in front of one another. How frightening and how liberating it can be.

This culture I live in tells me to be strong, put on a happy face, judge those that are different and cover the not so pretty parts of me. I don’t want to anymore.

Today I choose to be happy with who I am at this very moment. I choose to stop and just be comfortable in my own skin. Today I choose to love what God created in me. When I tell myself that I am not good enough, I am essentially telling God that He made a mistake. When I tear myself apart for not measuring up to some standard I have set, I am telling God that I am the one in control.

God gave me this life. Jesus died so that I can have a relationship with Him. Right now is when I am looking to God and telling Him that I give up. I give up the illusion of control that keeps me captive. Isn’t that the kicker? That when we get down to it, I am the only one allowing myself to be held captive. I am the one listening to the lies whispered in the background, I am the one not bringing these uncertainties before the Holy One that I know can deliver me. I keep myself tucked away in the dark, afraid to step out in the light.

Today I encourage you all to take that leap of faith. Step out into the Glorious Light that Jesus provides. Our Lord will never force anything on us, even if He knows just how beautiful that outcome will be. It is up to each of us to decide to let the garbage go and walk out of our self created cells. We are not imprisoned by some unseeing force that holds us captive. We allow it to happen when we live in the shame that has already been paid for by Jesus.

Have faith my friends. Don’t allow the shame to keep you from the freedom that is so much closer that you realize. Bring all your pain, sorrow, shame and guilt before the Great Healer and you will be blown away by the work He is aching to do in you.

Love you all and pray that we all give up the things that keep us back so that we would live fuller lives.

A Broken World

Rock wall (2)

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? – Jeremiah 17:9

As it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one – Romans 3:10

We do not live in a world that is mostly good. We live in a broken world that is full of sin and heart-break.

I think we spend so much time thinking that darkness is less common and are surprised when we see it. I think we forget that we were never designed to deal with loss and grief and therefore need help coping. We were made in God’s image and were designed to dwell in His presence for all eternity. When sin came into the world, we were ripped away from where were meant to be.

Genesis 3:14-19
14Then the lord God said to the serpent,
“Because you have done this, you are cursed
more than all animals, domestic and wild.
You will crawl on your belly,
groveling in the dust as long as you live.
15And I will cause hostility between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and her offspring.
He will strike#

  Or bruise; also in 3:15b.

your head,

and you will strike his heel.”
16Then he said to the woman,
“I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy,
and in pain you will give birth.
And you will desire to control your husband,
but he will rule over you.#

 Or And though you will have desire for your husband, / he will rule over you.

17And to the man he said,
“Since you listened to your wife and ate from the tree
whose fruit I commanded you not to eat,
the ground is cursed because of you.
All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it.
18It will grow thorns and thistles for you,
though you will eat of its grains.
19By the sweat of your brow
will you have food to eat
until you return to the ground
from which you were made.
For you were made from dust,
and to dust you will return.”
Paradise was taken and we now live in a cursed world. Sometimes I forget that we live in place where Satan rules. I forget that so many people do not belong to Christ and so they are subject to the darkness that seeks to crush them.
John 12:30-32
 30 Then Jesus told them, “The voice was for your benefit, not mine. 31 The time for judging this world has come, when Satan, the ruler of this world, will be cast out. 32 And when I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw everyone to myself.”
I know how hard of a struggle it is for me when I am feeling pressure and am acting out in my flesh. I can remember how much harder it was before I gave my life to Jesus and decided to follow Him. I can find such comfort in knowing that my life is in God’s hands and that He has a plan for me. This does not protect me from the spiritual war that surrounds me and I am reminded of that today.
Ephesians 6:12
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
As I read this verse I get a vision in my mind of the front lines of a massive war. The enemy crosses secretly onto our side and caused turmoil in the midst of  those that should be uniting. The enemy looks at how we, as humanity, turn against each other and tear each other down for them. Oh what joy that must bring to those that want to steal, kill and destroy us all.
Proverbs 3:13-18
13Joyful is the person who finds wisdom,
the one who gains understanding.
14For wisdom is more profitable than silver,
and her wages are better than gold.
15Wisdom is more precious than rubies;
nothing you desire can compare with her.
16She offers you long life in her right hand,
and riches and honor in her left.
17She will guide you down delightful paths;
all her ways are satisfying.
18Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her;
I would encourage you all to take a step back, take a deep breath and see the battle and this world for what they are. Don’t get caught up in fighting with one another. Fight the real fight and unite! Love on each other, carry each other, remember that the Lord will carry through this battle if you let Him lead the way.
Proverbs 3:27-35
27Do not withhold good from those who deserve it
when it’s in your power to help them.
28If you can help your neighbor now, don’t say,
“Come back tomorrow, and then I’ll help you.”
29Don’t plot harm against your neighbor,
for those who live nearby trust you.
30Don’t pick a fight without reason,
when no one has done you harm.
31Don’t envy violent people
or copy their ways.
32Such wicked people are detestable to the lord,
but he offers his friendship to the godly.
33The lord curses the house of the wicked,
but he blesses the home of the upright.
34The lord mocks the mockers
but is gracious to the humble.#

 Greek version reads The Lord opposes the proud / but gives grace to the humble. Compare Jas 4:6; 1 Pet 5:5.
35The wise inherit honor,
but fools are put to shame!
Do not let the enemy continue to blind you to the needs of others. Do not allow the enemy to lead you to believe that it is your place to pass judgment. Put your pride and assumptions to the side and reach out a helping hand to ALL you come across in this life. We are follow God’s Word and to follow in His foot steps. You are not here by accident, you are not leading a meaningless life, there is purpose to who you are and where you are at this very moment.
Pause. Look. Love. Think before you act, think before you pass judgment and make assumptions about others. Pray often and pray for discernment so that you can serve others in a way that would be pleasing to God.
In Jesus’ name I pray these things.